Well, well, well, Christmas come early, eh? Rigor Tortoise is returning with a Chris Alvarado in tow. Come on out, check it out, be about it, do it, just do it, let’s do this, pick a phrase that indicates you coming on out to see this show and do it.
Link for tix below…but guess what? It’s free beautiful babies, so you don’t even need to buy a ticket!
Listen, live your life however you see fit, but my advice is live it FULLY. And if you’re living it fully, you’re probably taking advantage of every opportunity and you’re probably watching movies. Lot of probably’s here.
My suggestion? Watch this one. Got to spend a solid day in the most terrifying building I’ve ever been in working on it. Bones chilled. Boners? Chilled (in a cool way, get it?)
I’m back…again! And hollatchboy, I’m reviewing another album. This time from a band/man called Bahamas OR Afie Jurvanen. Quick backstory on B Afie (this is how I will refer to Bahamas from review on out as I believe it to be far catchier than either Bahamas, or Afie [though both are catchy in their own right])…B Afie used to be in another band/woman named Feist! (get your mind out of the gutter, I know how you read that “in” part) Head out of gutter? Good, we can continue. To answer your question of “you mean THAT Feist??” Yep, that Feist. The one you love so much! But then, as history recalls, B Afie was like, “yo, this Feist band is great, but I need to chill it out. Imma go start a band that is so chill, our name will be synonymous with the chillest place ever.” BAM! B Afie was born!
Alright, now that we’ve got history behind us (get it?), let’s get to this review. You know, much has been made of B Afie’s voice sounding similar to the laid back croon (can croon’s be laid back? can I use more parenthesis?!) of an M. Ward…and much has been made of him signing to Brushfire Records, label of Jack Johnson. So there’s a lotta much being mentioned! What is this much I keep mentioning? Well, if you’re gonna choose the name of “Bahamas” and you sound like M. Ward and you sign to a laid back surf dude’s label…you better sound pretty chill. Well this cover art pretty much affirms it’s gonna be super laid back!
Let’s take to our checklist of chill things…
Things That Are Symbolic of Chilled Out Cool Vibes:
White room? CHECK! White pants? CHECK! Turquoise-ish shirt? CHECK! Sad face and crossed arms because you just chilled so hard that you don’t think you can chill anymore? CHECK! Rug that references album title? CHECK! Single nightstand with only a lamp on it because other things would ruin the chill vibe? CHECK! NAKED GIRL PASSED OUT FROM BEING TOO F’N CHILL? CHECK!!!!!
REVIEW: Put on your white pants, grab a mojito, find a naked girl to pass out in your bed, put this record on and chill!