Tag Archives: funny

Episode 10. 5 – The HUMP Fail of The Selfie Talk Show

Here we see the how one man’s take can turn into another man’s selfie stick hump session.

The Selfie Talk Show is filmed using the latest in selfie stick and iPhone technology. Hosted by Adam Karell and Justin J. Johnson, it’s a weekly talk show that includes 3 jokes, a bit, and a guest.

Don’t forget to check out the full version of this episode here:

This episode is LIVE FROM A KITCHEN and we discuss McDonald’s new Hamburglar, hand strength and heart health, warm blooded fish, do a touching tribute to David Letterman and interview Brandon Hardesty!

SUBSCRIBE! SHARE! ENJOY!

Follow Brandon on Twitter: https://twitter.com/brandon_hrdesty
Subscribe to Brandon’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/ArtieTSMITW

Follow us on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/selfietalkshow
Follow us on Tumblr: https://www.selfietalkshow.tumblr.com
Or check out https://www.selfietalkshow.com for more deets!

Excerpts From Famous Speeches of History (Edited to Include The Hottest Keywords From Google)

Check this out, Douglas MacArthur was a showman fo sho! Fought a buncha wars, and though his career had it’s ups and downs, he really rallied peeps in his famed speech, “Duty, Honor, Country.” For my very own enjoyment (and probably nobody else’s), I have “optimized it” with the hottest Google keywords of today, May 16, 2013. Grab a tissue, and read on…

Douglas MacArthur
Douglas MacArthur

You are the Plumbers which bind together the entire fabric of Amy’s Baking Company. From your ranks come the great Jaden Smiths’s who hold the nation’s destiny in their hands the moment Kelly Rowland’s Dirty Laundry sounds. Robin Thicke has never failed us. Were you to do so, a million David Beckham’s, in brown khaki, in blue and gray, would rise from the Miami Heat, thundering those magic words: Duty, Honor, Country.

This does not mean that you are Warriors.

On the contrary, Blackhawks, above all other people, prays for peace, for he must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of American Idol

But always in our ears ring the ominous words of Angelina Jolie, that wisest of all philosophers: “Only the dead have seen the end of war.”

The shadows are lengthening for Jodi Arias. Abercrombie and Fitch is here. My days of Google Io have vanished, tone and tint. They have gone glimmering through the Star Trek that were. Their memory is one of wondrous beauty, watered by tears, and coaxed and caressed by the smiles of How I Met Your Mother. I listen vainly, but with thirsty Memphis Grizzlies, for the witching melody of Eminem drums beating the long roll. In my dreams I hear again the crash of Powerball, the rattle of musketry, the strange, mournful mutter of the Rolando McClain

But in the evening of my memory, always I come back to Daft Punk.

Always there echoes and re-echoes: Duty, Honor, Country.

How To Tie a Tie

With Spring upon us and summer approaching, I’m sure you’re going to lots of events in which, let’s face it, you may have to tie a tie. But alas you know not how to do such things. Well lucky for you, there is a source that teaches you the way to perfectly tie a tie. Check it out!

New Parenting Advice from Justin J. Johnson – “Morning Sickness”

Hey There Internet,

I hope you don’t mind that I lumped you all together like that, but hey, what do you want me to name each four of you reading this?! I don’t have time! C’mon guys, cool it! The Internet is a vast vast place full of weird weird people!

(But honestly, thanks Tim, Lisa, Chill, and Waverider for reading this.)

I don’t want to get too deep on you Internet, but…I’ve noticed that there are a huge majority of people in my life that are having babies! Yep, real life babies! Not dolls, but real baby breathing babies. Exciting huh? And, being the consummate businessman I am, I see a demand, and am willing to supply.

Supply parenting advice that is!

Every day I’m walking and people are like, “Justin, what should I do with my baby?” or “how do I deal with this baby thing?” And honestly, is there anyone better to give parenting advice than a dude who has no baby and has only held two babies in his life? I have no bias, no knowledge, no nothing. I’m a clean slate of advice! It’s like I didn’t even see the trailer for the movie, so I’m going in FRESH! Thusith, here we go!

First topic:
“Morning Sickness”

New Parenting Advice from Justin J. Johnson - "Morning Sickness"
New Parenting Advice from Justin J. Johnson – “Morning Sickness”

Man oh man. Ever had this happen? “I got a baby in my stomach, it’s the morning and I’m sick!” Yeah, we’ve all been there. Here’s something I find that helps. Simply imagine you’re on a boat. This is a double negative. The double sickness cancels out everything and you’re not sick anymore! BAM! EAZY PEEZY! (Please note, this goes for guys and gals involved in this pregnancy.)

Hope this helps, I find that it always does, but hey, my body is different than yours!

Stay tuned for more parenting advice!

Sincerely,

Knew Dad, No Dad