The RETURN of Rigor Tortoise

November 14

Well, well, well, Christmas come early, eh?  Rigor Tortoise is returning with a Chris Alvarado in tow. Come on out, check it out, be about it, do it, just do it, let’s do this, pick a phrase that indicates you coming on out to see this show and do it.

Link for tix below…but guess what? It’s free beautiful babies, so you don’t even need to buy a ticket!

Revelator Time – Watch It Babies

September 21

Listen, live your life however you see fit, but my advice is live it FULLY.  And if you’re living it fully, you’re probably taking advantage of every opportunity and you’re probably watching movies.  Lot of probably’s here.

My suggestion?  Watch this one.  Got to spend a solid day in the most terrifying building I’ve ever been in working on it.  Bones chilled.  Boners?  Chilled (in a cool way, get it?)


You need links?  GOT EM!

Chronicles of CreMAYtivity

May 11

Hello Fair Reader!

I always say that, but truth be told, I have no idea as to your fairness. You may be fair, you may be unfair, you may pay fares, you get it. It has come to my attention that I boldly declared my devotion to a month of creMAYtivity, in which I do something creMAYtive every day, but…I haven’t posted anything since Friday. So, thought I’d fill you in on some happenings! Who am I kidding, nobody is reading this! Come on nobody, let’s journey through my last five days of creMAYtivity! (is this slogan catching on yet? Hashtag it! #HashtagCreMAYtivity…is that how you hashtag something?)


Sometimes in order to be creMAYtive, you have to MAYliv life! And that’s what I did! Started the afternoon off with a trip to my local theatre, the Arclight! And, I had time to do one of my favorite things in life, go to the 2nd floor bar, grab a drink and look out over all of the people, all the while trying to guess what movie everyone was seeing.

 These people were all seeing The Sixth Sense…and it wasn’t even showing…they were ghosts!

Post people watching, I watched…Guardians of the Galaxy 2. It was out of this world. Get it? Right? Get it? Has anyone picked that low hanging fruit? Get it?

Then, it was off to…Universal Citywalk! HOLY MOLY! This place is…out of this world! Get it? No? Okay then. Listen, Universal Citywalk might be the most magical place in the world. Why? I don’t know, maybe…floating cars in restaurants!

Or, maybe boats in the middle of restaurants!

The point is, if you’re a restaurant, you can put anything in the middle of your establishment, regardless of size, at Universal Citywalk. DREAMS! Also, it’s incredibly weird, and everyone there is weird. One love.

Life lived 1!
Justin 0!
(Wait, that doesn’t make sense)
Justin -1!
(Stop rating me!)


Little bit boring. Worked on a script I’m working on. Here is all you get!

Oh man, what fine writing!

Life lived 2!
Justin – 2!
(How did I get to “-2” but my life is at 2?)


Part of being creative for me, is…well…a lot of failing! I fail a ton. Too much, some would say, and Iiiii, am some! Anyway, I was trying to do a bit with my Instax camera where I took a photo of my camera taking a photo of itself, and I couldn’t make it work. Here is proof of my failure.

Life lived 3!
Justin -7!
(I get it, I failed, I feel ya!)
Justin – 6!
(Did my honesty just get me a +1???)
Justin – 8!
(I’ll shut up)


I had an improv show at iO West. Doesn’t get more creMAYtive than long form improv, am I right?!?! Of course I am!
Life lived 4!
Justin – 4!
(What?!?! I am equal to my life being lived! Also, how weird is this bit? It doesn’t really make sense…who would rate this, why would I rate myself vs my life…I mean, it’s hilarious, but I don’t know)

Wednesday (TONIGHT!)!

I’m writing this! I also started outlining a potential new solo sketch show! Get ready world!

Justin’s life lived – 10!

I DID IT! So, even though I may not publish it online, there’s a ton of creMAYTivity happening right before your little eyeliddy’s.

Stay tuned for more creMAYtivity!

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