New Cartoon – History Repeats Itself by Justin J. Johnson
New Cartoon – History Repeats Itself
February 21
Valentine’s Day – Crimes of Passion
February 7
Cupid and his fat baby body and arrows are almost upon us…that’s right, Valentine’s Day is a week away! I know you’re worried, but take a break from thinking about that fat body baby shooting you with love, and watch this Russian classic: Crimes of Passion.
The Handy Dandy – Cartoon by Justin J. Johnson
February 6
Latest cartoon: The Handy Dandy
I’m Not Dead!
January 30
Hey There Fair Reader!
I know what you’re thinking, “Justin you bring your website to life, live at UCB, then never update it?”
That’s not true! Quit thinking that!
Who do you think I am, Crazy Heart?! What do you think, I go to malls, get drinks, and then leave websites!? I don’t and I won’t. BUT, I am working on some exciting projects that have taken up the majority of my time. In my absence, I will leave you with one of my favorite things I’ve seen in a fortnight, and or, in a fort, or at night. Disney’s “Paperman.” It’s honestly the best thing ever. Please watch. And if you’ll excuse me, I must go to a mall and get a drink. See ya website! (I’ll update soon!)
Mr. Olsen’s “A Teacher’s Audio Diary” Entry 1
January 4
Mr. Olsen’s “A Teacher’s Audio Diary.” Principal Smith has instructed Mr. Olsen to keep an audio diary after many encounters with a student, Leif Ericson. Apparently Leif has been playing pranks on Mr. Olsen.
*Warning – Mr. Olsen uses foul language. He’s going through a rough time, so give him a break.
My End of Year Review of Stuff You May Want To Enjoy But I’m Not Holding Your Feet To The Fire, You Do What You Want…2012
December 28
Listen, I’m cooler than most everyone. Cool people call themselves cool right? That’s a thing? Yes? YES. Well rest assured I’m cool, I eat kale! Yep, surrrrre do! With pine nuts sometimes, so that should be proof enough. And if you want more proof, sometimes I’ll put that shit in a smoothie. KALE SMOOTHIE! Yeah, I’m on another level, deal with it.
So given my coolness, just know that in the year 2012, I’ve seen good movies, and listened to rad music, done things, and been places. But I’m not going to validate my coolness (other than that kale pine nut business) by listing things. That said, as the Mayans foretold, it’s an obligation of writing stuff and putting it places, to list something at the end of the year. Cavemen did it (Top 10 Dinosaur Incidents That Chuck Got Out Of), Bible did it (Top 10 Bible-y Things in the Bible), and in the future they do it (Top 10 Ways to Escape Planet Volcano Lazers And Will.I.Am Musical Sounds).
THUS…I will list one thing that is a double whammy. One of my favorite books I read, accompanied by one of my favorite albums I listened to whilst I read said book. I MULTI-TASK!
The book you ask? The Antidote by Oliver Burkeman. Pure gold. Insightful, humorous, delicious (I ate the book after I read it…I have a “thing”)
The album you gasp? Fabrizio Paterlini’s “Autumn Stories” Emotional, beautiful, probably delicious (I can’t eat MP3’s…yet)
What did you expect? The Hunger Games and Ke$ha? Even typing that dollar sign in the name made me feel rotten. Ugh. So there you have it, a book and an album that just blew your mind out of your mind holder. Go buy both, and enjoy them together. You may even learn something! What was that? You learned something from the Ke$sh alb…do I have to type that dollar sign? Ke$…ahhhh, I do! My hands are being controlled by Ke$ha…ahhhhhhhHhhhHhhhh!!!!! NO! NO, KE$HA I WON’T LET THIS HAPPEN! STOP IT!!! Ke$ha is the best! WAIIIITTT, I DIDN’T TYPE THAT! What, did you get a voodoo doll? KE$HAS ALBUM iZ NUmBA 1…NO! KE$SHA STOP! I don’t want to type in your abbreviated dumb text type idiot future language…I…am fighting…so…hard…Your music…is AWFUL…and you look like a weird valley girl robot….AHHHH!!!
I beat Kesha! PHEW! You guys, lesson learned…don’t try to slander Kesha on the Internet. She will voodoo your fingers into typing positive things about her.
Goodbye 2012. Hello 2025! Ke$ha RULZ!!!
NOOOO!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!
Spun Into a Wove of Gold
December 26
Good Luck!
December 21
Just wanted to send a note wishing everyone good luck making it out of this apocalypse. May your feet be swift to escape the rushing lava, and may your arms shield you from the torrential downpour of acidic rain. Goshspeed.
-Justin J. Johnson, December 21, 2012
Loose Leaf Tea Bag vs. On The Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson
November 29
New cartoon: Loose Leaf Tea Bag vs. On The Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson
David Bowie Singing At An Irish Pub in Pico
November 3
Justin J. Johnson discusses the origins of cities including Banana, Missouri, picking words, Q&A’s, how to start your own city, Chipotle, Halloween, not being a mattress, pushing, sleeping on hay, comforts, and take aways.