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Tag: rigor tortoise

Green M&M, Blue M&M Dating: Actress, Guitarist Kiss At LAX

December 17

I, like most people, hate the world of celebrity gossip. In fact, I wish our society was more obsessed with other ridiculous things like mermaids, or monsters, or let’s say those weird, real life M&M’s. So, I’ve taken a recently published article that deals with celebrity gossip, and replaced it with real life M&M’s. Because, let’s face it…that’s more interesting, isn’t it?
———

Wedding Bells for Blue M&M and Green M&M?
Wedding Bells for Blue M&M and Green M&M?

Green M&M is no longer single. Us Weekly reports that the “Mars Brand” treat is dating Blue M&M, a Mars Brand treat himself who also happens to be the ex-boyfriend of sassy Ms. Brown M&M (they split in 2011).

Green M&M and Blue M&M both 43, were photographed kissing while trying to depart from LAX airport Wednesday. The new couple also held hands as they strolled through the airport wearing boots and shoes. And while the romance is new, their friendship is not. “They went to college together,” a source told the magazine. “It’s going really well.”

Green M&M is no stranger to dating within Hollywood, of course. She previously dated Red M&M, Yellow M&M, Orange M&M (whom she married, then broke up with after only four months) and Bradley Cooper.

Here’s a link to the real article should you be so inclined to read: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/13/renee-zellweger-doyle-bramhall-ii-dating-actress-guitarist_n_2292138.html?utm_hp_ref=celebrity

Justin Johnson Essays blue M&M, Celebrity Couples, Celebrity News, comedy, dating M&M, Doyle Bramhall, Doyle Bramhall II, funny, green M&M, haha, justin j. johnson, kenny chesney, lol, omg, renee zellweger, Renee Zellweger Boyfriend, Renee Zellweger Bradley Cooper, Renee Zellweger Dating, Renee Zellweger Doyle Bramhall II, Renee Zellweger Doyle Bramhall II Dating, rigor tortoise, satire, Sheryl Crow Doyle Bramhall II, video

What religious affiliation does Santa have?

December 13

Hello!

In case you didn’t know, I LOVE Yahoo! Answers. And as I’ve said before, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.

Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain. Here’s my second question, “What religious affiliation does Santa have?” Click on the link below to log-in and answer!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkVBhQrftUIX8vEQ.jbTW7nsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20121213130851AAYMXZW

What Religious Affiliation Does Santa Have
What Religious Affiliation Does Santa Have

Here’s the copy of my question:
What religious affiliation does Santa have?
I assumed that he was Catholic. One could definitely assume that, but after much thought and seeing photos of Santa hat’s that may or may not have been hiding a Yarmulke I wasn’t sure. Then there was the thought that we may be Buddhist giving the come and go of the season.

Justin Johnson's Yahoo! Answers amiright, buddist santa, catholic santa, funny, haha, humor, improv, jewish santa, justin j. johnson, los angeles, questions, rigor tortoise, santa, santa claus, santa claus religion, santa religion, what religious affiliation does santa have, yahoo answers

Rigor Tortoise Die Hard Interrupted Featured on Cracked.com

December 12

Hey You Jokers! Check it out, Rigor Tortoise featured on Cracked.com. So go over there and leave a negative (orrrr positive) comment already!

Rigor Tortoise Featured on Cracked.com
Rigor Tortoise Featured on Cracked.com

The Bizarre Scene from ‘Die Hard’ You Never Saw — powered by Cracked.com
Justin Johnson Videos christmas, die hard, funny, hilarious, justin j. johnson, los angeles, mcclain, movies, parody, rigor tortoise, sketch comedy, stand-up, ucb, x-mas

Christmas Classic – The Tree by Rigor Tortoise and Justin J. Johnson

December 10

Hey! Check out this short I wrote and am in. Merry Christmas and/or everything else!

Justin Johnson Videos adult swim, behn fannin, cartoon network, christmas, christmas comedy, christmas funny, christmas sketches, eric andre, funny, haha, holiday sketch comedy, holidays, humor, justin j. johnson, lol, los angeles, omg, rigor tortoise, sketch comedy, sketch video, snl, stand-up, tim and eric, ucb, video, x-mas

Johnny Cash – The Gifts They Gave Alternate Interlude – Christmas with Johnny Cash

December 7

Found this super weird…alternate interlude? I guess that’s what you would call it. In any case if you’ve ever listened to the Johnny Cash Christmas album, you know he talks a lot, but this must’ve been on the cutting room floor, since it’s so weird!

Justin Johnson Recordings audio, cash, christmas, christmas with johnny cash, funny, haha, humor, interlude, johnny cash, justin j. johnson, lol, lost recordings, omg, rigor tortoise, the gift they gave

Hipster Christmas Miracles – Death Grips for Cutie

December 5

Another installment of Hipster Christmas Miracles.

Hipster Christmas Miracles - Death Grips For Cutie
Hipster Christmas Miracles – Death Grips For Cutie
Justin Johnson - Hipster Christmas Miracles ben gibbard, christmas, comedy, death grips, death grips for cutie, funny, haha, hipster, hipster christmas miracles, justin j. johnson, meme, miracles, postal service, rigor tortoise, the postal service tour

Hipster Christmas Miracles – Tunde Adebimpe and Morrissey and Neil Young

December 4

We can only wish! Here’s my first of the season. Man, oh man, do I wish, amiright? Tunde Adebimpe and Morrissey record a Neil Young covers album? Yes please.

Hipster Christmas Miracles - Tunde Adebimpe, Morrissey, Neil Young
Hipster Christmas Miracles – Tunde Adebimpe, Morrissey, Neil Young
Justin Johnson - Hipster Christmas Miracles christmas miracles, funny, haha, hip, hipster, hipster christmas miracles, Hipster Christmas Miracles - Tunde Adebimpe, meme, miracles, Morrissey, Neil Young, omg lol, rigor tortoise, the smiths, tunde adebimpe, tv on the radio

SONG: Possum In My Christmas Tree by Justin J. Johnson

December 3

Why call this a demo? I’m not sure, I’m sure not going to be able to keep pace any better, or play any better. Regardless, here’s a cut from what could be a potential X-mas album…we’ll see! Possum in My Christmas Tree!

Justin Johnson Recordings andrew bird, canada, christmas, christmas tree, comedy, comedy records, funny, funny music, haha, holiday music, justin j. johnson, los angeles, music, omg, possum, possum in my christmas tree, rigor tortoise, sketch, something in tree, stand-up, ucb

Santa Claus is a Chain Smoker

November 30

Comedian Justin J. Johnson discusses why Santa Claus says “ho, ho, ho,” lung disease, notoriety, noises, foul mouths, Frosty the Snowman, addiction, and of course, how dumb electric cigarettes look!

Justin Johnson Recordings " lung disease, addiction, and of course, cartoon network, foul mouths, Frosty the Snowman, funny, funny recordings, haha, ho, how dumb electric cigarettes look, justin j. johnson, lol, nickelodeon, noises, notoriety, omg, podcast, rigor tortoise, sketch, soundcloud, stand-up, why Santa Claus says "ho

Loose Leaf Tea Bag vs. On The Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson

November 29

New cartoon: Loose Leaf Tea Bag vs. On The Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson

Cartoon: Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson
Cartoon: Loose Leaf Tea Bag by Justin J. Johnson
Justin Johnson Cartoons adult swim, cartoon, cartoon network, comedian, comedy, cute, family guy, fox, funny, haha, humor, justin j. johnson, leaf, lol, loose leaf tea, los angeles comedy, new yorker, new yorker cartoon, next, omg, on the loose leaf tea, rigor tortoise, sketch, stand-up, tea, tea bag, tea bag cartoon, tea cartoon, up and coming

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