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Tag: haha

Jesus Christ Drives a Mitsubishi Eclipse

January 17

Comedian Justin J. Johnson discusses what the spices of life are, why salt makes you stupid and what it is, mo money mo problems, and Jesus Christ driving a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

Justin Johnson Recordings comedy record, funny, haha, humor, io west, jesus, justin j. johnson, lol, mitsubishi eclipse, podcast, rigor tortoise, sketch comedy, stand-up, ucb

Awful Salmonella Jokes by Justin J. Johnson

January 11

Listen, sometimes you try and try as hard as you might, to write various salmonella jokes. And you know what? Most times if you’re me, it doesn’t work out. Rather than be shamed by my lack of talent, I figured it’s probably best to just share it with the entire world. Enjoy!

Awful Salmonella Jokes by Justin J. Johnson
Awful Salmonella Jokes by Justin J. Johnson
Justin Johnson Essays bacteria, bacteria jokes, eric andre, funny, funny pictures, haha, humor, justin j. johnson, justin johnson, los angeles, picture, poultry, rigor tortoise, rtcomedy.com, salmonella, salmonella jokes, stand-up, tim and eric, ucb, zach

Hipster Christmas Miracles – Grizzly Birds

December 24
Grizzly Bear & Andrew Bird - Grizzly Birds
Grizzly Bear & Andrew Bird – Grizzly Birds
Justin Johnson - Hipster Christmas Miracles andrew bird, christmas, christmas miracles, funny, grizzly bear, grizzly birds, haha, hip, hipster, hipster christmas miracles, join forces, justin j. johnson, lol, omg, rigor tortoise

Hipster Christmas Miracles – Grimes Mimes

December 18
Hipster Christmas Miracles - Grimes Mimes
Hipster Christmas Miracles – Grimes Mimes
Justin Johnson - Hipster Christmas Miracles christmas, christmas miracles, funny, grimes, haha, hip, hipster, hipster christmas miracles, judd apatow, justin j. johnson, lol, meme, mimes, oblivion, omg, rigor tortoise

Green M&M, Blue M&M Dating: Actress, Guitarist Kiss At LAX

December 17

I, like most people, hate the world of celebrity gossip. In fact, I wish our society was more obsessed with other ridiculous things like mermaids, or monsters, or let’s say those weird, real life M&M’s. So, I’ve taken a recently published article that deals with celebrity gossip, and replaced it with real life M&M’s. Because, let’s face it…that’s more interesting, isn’t it?
———

Wedding Bells for Blue M&M and Green M&M?
Wedding Bells for Blue M&M and Green M&M?

Green M&M is no longer single. Us Weekly reports that the “Mars Brand” treat is dating Blue M&M, a Mars Brand treat himself who also happens to be the ex-boyfriend of sassy Ms. Brown M&M (they split in 2011).

Green M&M and Blue M&M both 43, were photographed kissing while trying to depart from LAX airport Wednesday. The new couple also held hands as they strolled through the airport wearing boots and shoes. And while the romance is new, their friendship is not. “They went to college together,” a source told the magazine. “It’s going really well.”

Green M&M is no stranger to dating within Hollywood, of course. She previously dated Red M&M, Yellow M&M, Orange M&M (whom she married, then broke up with after only four months) and Bradley Cooper.

Here’s a link to the real article should you be so inclined to read: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/13/renee-zellweger-doyle-bramhall-ii-dating-actress-guitarist_n_2292138.html?utm_hp_ref=celebrity

Justin Johnson Essays blue M&M, Celebrity Couples, Celebrity News, comedy, dating M&M, Doyle Bramhall, Doyle Bramhall II, funny, green M&M, haha, justin j. johnson, kenny chesney, lol, omg, renee zellweger, Renee Zellweger Boyfriend, Renee Zellweger Bradley Cooper, Renee Zellweger Dating, Renee Zellweger Doyle Bramhall II, Renee Zellweger Doyle Bramhall II Dating, rigor tortoise, satire, Sheryl Crow Doyle Bramhall II, video

What religious affiliation does Santa have?

December 13

Hello!

In case you didn’t know, I LOVE Yahoo! Answers. And as I’ve said before, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.

Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain. Here’s my second question, “What religious affiliation does Santa have?” Click on the link below to log-in and answer!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkVBhQrftUIX8vEQ.jbTW7nsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20121213130851AAYMXZW

What Religious Affiliation Does Santa Have
What Religious Affiliation Does Santa Have

Here’s the copy of my question:
What religious affiliation does Santa have?
I assumed that he was Catholic. One could definitely assume that, but after much thought and seeing photos of Santa hat’s that may or may not have been hiding a Yarmulke I wasn’t sure. Then there was the thought that we may be Buddhist giving the come and go of the season.

Justin Johnson's Yahoo! Answers amiright, buddist santa, catholic santa, funny, haha, humor, improv, jewish santa, justin j. johnson, los angeles, questions, rigor tortoise, santa, santa claus, santa claus religion, santa religion, what religious affiliation does santa have, yahoo answers

Christmas Classic – The Tree by Rigor Tortoise and Justin J. Johnson

December 10

Hey! Check out this short I wrote and am in. Merry Christmas and/or everything else!

Justin Johnson Videos adult swim, behn fannin, cartoon network, christmas, christmas comedy, christmas funny, christmas sketches, eric andre, funny, haha, holiday sketch comedy, holidays, humor, justin j. johnson, lol, los angeles, omg, rigor tortoise, sketch comedy, sketch video, snl, stand-up, tim and eric, ucb, video, x-mas

Johnny Cash – The Gifts They Gave Alternate Interlude – Christmas with Johnny Cash

December 7

Found this super weird…alternate interlude? I guess that’s what you would call it. In any case if you’ve ever listened to the Johnny Cash Christmas album, you know he talks a lot, but this must’ve been on the cutting room floor, since it’s so weird!

Justin Johnson Recordings audio, cash, christmas, christmas with johnny cash, funny, haha, humor, interlude, johnny cash, justin j. johnson, lol, lost recordings, omg, rigor tortoise, the gift they gave

Hipster Christmas Miracles – Death Grips for Cutie

December 5

Another installment of Hipster Christmas Miracles.

Hipster Christmas Miracles - Death Grips For Cutie
Hipster Christmas Miracles – Death Grips For Cutie
Justin Johnson - Hipster Christmas Miracles ben gibbard, christmas, comedy, death grips, death grips for cutie, funny, haha, hipster, hipster christmas miracles, justin j. johnson, meme, miracles, postal service, rigor tortoise, the postal service tour

Hipster Christmas Miracles – Tunde Adebimpe and Morrissey and Neil Young

December 4

We can only wish! Here’s my first of the season. Man, oh man, do I wish, amiright? Tunde Adebimpe and Morrissey record a Neil Young covers album? Yes please.

Hipster Christmas Miracles - Tunde Adebimpe, Morrissey, Neil Young
Hipster Christmas Miracles – Tunde Adebimpe, Morrissey, Neil Young
Justin Johnson - Hipster Christmas Miracles christmas miracles, funny, haha, hip, hipster, hipster christmas miracles, Hipster Christmas Miracles - Tunde Adebimpe, meme, miracles, Morrissey, Neil Young, omg lol, rigor tortoise, the smiths, tunde adebimpe, tv on the radio

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