Subaru For Struggling Comedians – Justin J. Johnson

Hello Fair Reader! I was recently informed by an elder…and when you get informed by elders, you listen…that if you want something in life, just ask for it. Well then, I’m going to do just that. I’ve recently taken on the challenge of convincing Subaru that they should provide me with a Subaru! Why? Why wouldn’t they??! Not only do they get another Subaru off their hands, but they get one in the hands of a pretty stellar dude. And when a stellar dude drives a sube, well, that’s some great publicity. I can see it now! A young lady, with her boyfriend, standing outside of Trader Joe’s, watching me pull into the parking lot in a new Forester, thinking…

“Is that Justin J. Johnson?” the young lady asks.

“Who?” the dumb guy responds.

“Brilliant comedic actor and performer, Justin J. Johnson,” says the lovely lass.

“I don’t know who that is” says that dumb caveman.

“Justin J. Johnson is the most talented comedic actor of our generation. He’s like the next Mr. Bean or something.” says the beautiful girl who doesn’t really know who Mr. Bean is, but is trying to use a cool reference.

“Oh, no clue,” says that neanderthal, “but that car is rad” continues the getting smarter dude.

So there you go Subaru! That’s what COULD happen! Then they go buy a brand new Subaru, and she dumps him because he’s an idiot and doesn’t know who I am, but finds a great guy who’s a big fan, so it all works out!

Subaru For Unknown Comedians aka Justin J. Johnson
Subaru For Unknown Comedians aka Justin J. Johnson

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