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Tag: inventions

Why Isn’t There a Splash Up Shield for Male Stand-up Urination on Regular Toilets?

January 16

If you haven’t been keeping tabs on all the fun/exciting/amazing things I’m doing, one of them is getting down to business. The business of getting weirdos from Yahoo! Answers to answer my life’s questions! This time I hit them with a hard one! Can they answer? Will they answer? Will you answer? Will I get an answer? Why do I say “answer” so much?

In any case, something about urinals has been bothering me. As you all know, I’m a clean gentleman! And as a clean gentleman, I hate it when stupid urinals try to make me look otherwise! You see, there’s a splash factor that comes into males using normal toilets with the seat up, and I’m determined to find out why we haven’t corrected that as a society. So, to find out, I took to the most reliable source of whackjobs, Yahoo! Answers.

Click on this link to see the actual question and hopefully answer (said it again!): http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Alh7fdkHGSQiBFxujEX1aSDsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20130115135254AA0lreR

If you don’t like links, or just don’t want to click on things, here’s what I asked:

Why Isn’t There a Splash Up Shield for Male Stand-up Urination on Regular Toilets?

Honestly, we’ve come to far as a race, and are too evolved for this to keep happening. When males urinate, there is a certain formula in which the height of the male, plus the speed of the urine, plus the shape of a toilet bowel that makes it impossible to not have some water/urine splash up on the bowl or even on the floor. Why hasn’t a shield or something of the like been invented?!?! OR has something been invented that I’m not aware of?

Why Isn't There A Splash Up Shield For Male Stand-Up Urination on Regular Toilets
Why Isn’t There A Splash Up Shield For Male Stand-Up Urination on Regular Toilets
Justin Johnson's Yahoo! Answers essays, floor, funny, humor, inventions, justin j. johnson, math of peeing, regulart toilets, rigor tortoise, sketch comedy, speed of urine, stand-up, stand-up urination, toilets, ucb, urine, Why Isn't There a Splash Up Shield for Male Stand-up Urination on Regular Toilets?, yahoo answers

Gradual-a-gram

May 1

Hey There Fair Reader!

As you all may know from my previous endeavors, I’m what you might call, a “smart cookie.” What type? Good question fair reader, umm…I’m not sure. Perhaps walnut chocolate chip. Oh! You’re allergic to walnuts? That sucks, I love walnuts. How about plain chocolate chip? Cool! SOOO, I’m a smart chocolate chip cookie! Being that, I’m on the cutting edge of innovation and constantly coming up with great ideas. Which leads me to my newest invention/idea/thing:

Gradual-a-gram! As you all are probably aware, Instagram is the HIPPEST way of taking photos on your electronic device. But what about people who long for the way photos used to look while they developed…gradually? Well hunger games no longer for those photos, because with my brand new app, you can take a photo and it will come out a messy blur, just like photos used to look prior to developing. Below you will find some test photos. GET EXCITED WORLD!

Oooh! What will this develop into? A picture of the ocean?! A picture of your lady wearing a hat?! A little pig with boots on?! How about below that? Is that a lush landscape? A chupacabra? A T-Rex?! Nobody may know!

Random Crap gradual-a-gram, instagram, inventions, iphone, justin j. johnson, photo app, rigor tortoise, smart cookies

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