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Tag: sketch

Nature Stand-Up

July 1

Took a trip to the woods to do some stand-up for the trees.

Justin Johnson News cast, casting, fred, groundlings, hot, hottest, human giant, io west, jokes, justin j. johnson, Lou Wallach, nbc, Nbc sketch show, new, new cast, portlandia, sketch, snl, stand-up, ucb

In Case Of, Use Stairway – Cartoon by Justin J. Johnson

June 25
In Case Of Use Stairway by Justin J. Johnson
In Case Of Use Stairway by Justin J. Johnson
Justin Johnson Cartoons comedian, comedy, elevator, fire, humor, in case of fire use stairway, in case on fire, jash, justin j. johnson, justin johnson, new yorker, on fire, rigor tortoise, sign, sketch, stairs, stairway, stairway to heaven, stand-up, use stairway to heaven

The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence

June 17

The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence

The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence
The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence
Justin Johnson Essays Cocky, Correspondence, Essay, Guide, humor, improv, io west, Jerk, justin j. johnson, nerdist, rigor tortoise, sketch, snl, stand-up, The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence

Invasive Surgery vs. Evasive Surgery Joke Ideas

June 4

I’m at it again! Coming up with too many bad ideas for one premise that I can’t figure out. Welp, lucky for you that rather than be a sane person who deletes these awful things, I’m releasing it into the world! Here’s a list of joke ideas I was trying to come up with for the premise: Invasive Surgery vs. Evasive Surgery.

Evasive Surgery vs. Invasive Surgery Jokes
Evasive Surgery vs. Invasive Surgery Jokes
Justin Johnson Essays Bad Jokes, comedian, comedy, Evasive Surgery, Evasive Surgery vs. Invasive Surgery, Evasive Surgery vs. Invasive Surgery Jokes, Invasive Surgery, Joke Ideas, jokes, justin j. johnson, los angeles, rigor tortoise, sketch, stand-up, Touchy Subject

A Man Ahead of His Time – Cartoon by Justin J. Johnson

March 21
A Man Ahead of His Time Cartoon - Justin J. Johnson
A Man Ahead of His Time Cartoon – Justin J. Johnson
Justin Johnson Cartoons a man ahead of his time cartoon, adult swim, cartoon, cartoon network, clock cartoon, comedian, funny cartoon, haha, humor, io west, justin j. johnson, los angeles, new yorker, rigor tortoise, sctv, sketch, snl, time cartoon, toon, ucb

New Parenting Advice from Justin J. Johnson – “Morning Sickness”

March 18

Hey There Internet,

I hope you don’t mind that I lumped you all together like that, but hey, what do you want me to name each four of you reading this?! I don’t have time! C’mon guys, cool it! The Internet is a vast vast place full of weird weird people!

(But honestly, thanks Tim, Lisa, Chill, and Waverider for reading this.)

I don’t want to get too deep on you Internet, but…I’ve noticed that there are a huge majority of people in my life that are having babies! Yep, real life babies! Not dolls, but real baby breathing babies. Exciting huh? And, being the consummate businessman I am, I see a demand, and am willing to supply.

Supply parenting advice that is!

Every day I’m walking and people are like, “Justin, what should I do with my baby?” or “how do I deal with this baby thing?” And honestly, is there anyone better to give parenting advice than a dude who has no baby and has only held two babies in his life? I have no bias, no knowledge, no nothing. I’m a clean slate of advice! It’s like I didn’t even see the trailer for the movie, so I’m going in FRESH! Thusith, here we go!

First topic:
“Morning Sickness”

New Parenting Advice from Justin J. Johnson - "Morning Sickness"
New Parenting Advice from Justin J. Johnson – “Morning Sickness”

Man oh man. Ever had this happen? “I got a baby in my stomach, it’s the morning and I’m sick!” Yeah, we’ve all been there. Here’s something I find that helps. Simply imagine you’re on a boat. This is a double negative. The double sickness cancels out everything and you’re not sick anymore! BAM! EAZY PEEZY! (Please note, this goes for guys and gals involved in this pregnancy.)

Hope this helps, I find that it always does, but hey, my body is different than yours!

Stay tuned for more parenting advice!

Sincerely,

Knew Dad, No Dad

Justin Johnson Parenting Advice absurd advice, comedian, comedy, funny, getting rid of morning sickness, hollywood, humor, justin j. johnson, los angeles, morning sickness, new parents, parenting, pregnancy, pregnancy advice, rigor tortoise, satire, sketch, stand-up

Engelbert Humperdinck Takes Over!

March 13

Last evening Engelbert Humperdinck decided to take over my Vine. Hypnotized and twisted.

Hypnotized by Engelbert Humperdinck. #Humperdinck vine.co/v/bdalhI0vq00

— justinjjohnson (@justinjjohnson) March 13, 2013

#Tornado #Humperdinck vine.co/v/bdWZMaB2Mjb

— justinjjohnson (@justinjjohnson) March 13, 2013

Justin J. Johnson Vine British, candle, comedian, comedy, drugs, Engelbert, Engelbert Humperdinck, funny, humor, Humperdinck, Hypnotized, jash, justin j. johnson, Magic, rigor tortoise, sketch, stand-up, tim and eric, Tornado, Tornado Jar, uk, vine, weird

Baby Giraffe’s Love TheJustinJohnsonShow.com/LIVE! at UCB!

January 17

Come on out to UCB on Monday, January 21st at 5:30 PM! http://losangeles.ucbtheatre.com/shows/view/1693

baby giraffe ucb mlk live show justin johnson
baby giraffe ucb mlk live show justin johnson
Justin Johnson Live baby, baby giraffe, cute, cute giraffe, fun, hollywood, improv, io west, justin j. johnson, live comedy, los angeles, mad tv, mlk day events, rigor tortoise, sctv, sketch, snl, stand-up, thejustinjohnsonshow.com/live!, things to do in la on mlk day, ucb

SONG: Possum In My Christmas Tree by Justin J. Johnson

December 3

Why call this a demo? I’m not sure, I’m sure not going to be able to keep pace any better, or play any better. Regardless, here’s a cut from what could be a potential X-mas album…we’ll see! Possum in My Christmas Tree!

Justin Johnson Recordings andrew bird, canada, christmas, christmas tree, comedy, comedy records, funny, funny music, haha, holiday music, justin j. johnson, los angeles, music, omg, possum, possum in my christmas tree, rigor tortoise, sketch, something in tree, stand-up, ucb

Santa Claus is a Chain Smoker

November 30

Comedian Justin J. Johnson discusses why Santa Claus says “ho, ho, ho,” lung disease, notoriety, noises, foul mouths, Frosty the Snowman, addiction, and of course, how dumb electric cigarettes look!

Justin Johnson Recordings " lung disease, addiction, and of course, cartoon network, foul mouths, Frosty the Snowman, funny, funny recordings, haha, ho, how dumb electric cigarettes look, justin j. johnson, lol, nickelodeon, noises, notoriety, omg, podcast, rigor tortoise, sketch, soundcloud, stand-up, why Santa Claus says "ho

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