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Tag: santa

Santa’s Naughty and Nice List from 1995!

December 16

listen…I’m sneaky…some would say, as sneaky as they get!

has my sneakiness led towards me stealing Santa’s naughty and nice list every year despite increased security at the north pole? you betcha. after all, I am all Ocean’s 11.

but this year…couldn’t do it.
it’s been a rough year.

so I found the jolly one himself and I apologized…not because I’ve stolen the Naughty and Nice list every year, but because it’s been a rizzler-less, 6-7, brain rot summer into seasonal depression, a ted sarand-oh-no’s of a year…low aura, high-yap, touch grass…gross.

the big man gets it. so he gave me the naughty and nice list. not for this year…but for 1995.

enjoy the vibes, and hard launch going back to then.

Santa’s Naughty and Nice List from 1995
Justin Johnson Zines 1995, 1995 naughty, 1995 nice, comedy, fun, justin johnson, list, naughty, naughty and nice, nice, santa, zine

Sabrina Carpenter, Espresso, and Espresso Make the Nice List

December 17

Santa’s got a long night ahead of himself come this Christmas Eve, and you know what gets him through…something short and sweet, I’m talking about ESPRESSO! You know the big man is not slim pickins! May sound like nonsense, but Sabrina Carpenter, Espresso, and, well, espresso all make the NICE LIST!

Sabrina Carpenter Espresso Nice List

Justin Johnson Zines comedy, espresso the drink, espresso the song, justin johnson, naughty, naughty and nice list, nice, sabrina carpenter, santa

Moira Rose = NICE LIST!

December 16

Another image from the LEAKED Naughty and Nice List finds Santa really feelin’ Schitts Creek. I agree!

Justin Johnson Zines justin j. johnson, leaked images, moira rose, naughty and nice list, santa, schitts creek, zine

Taco Bell = NAUGHTY List

December 15

The LEAKS continue when it comes to Santa’s Naughty and Nice List. Unfortunately, Taco Bell came out Naughty! Can you blame Santa?!

Justin Johnson Zines leaked, mexican pizza, naughty and nice list, naughty list, santa, santa claus, santa is mad, Taco Bell, zine

Baby Nut = NAUGHTY!

December 10

Another LEAKED image from Santa’s Naughty and Nice List. Turns out Baby Nut is Naughty…can’t blame Santa on this one. That creepy little baby peanut in a top hat FREAKS ME OUT!

Justin Johnson Zines baby nut, christmas, justin j. johnson, naughty nut, peanut, peanuts, santa, top hat, zine

LEAKED: Santa’s 2018 Naughty and Nice List!

December 11

Got my grubby little hands on some top secret information and you know me…I can’t keep a secret, so I’m LEAKING some of Santa’s 2018 Naughty and Nice list. If you live in LA, keep your eyes peeled, as I’ll be dropping them in strategic locations!

Justin Johnson Zines art, Coal, comedian, justin j. johnson, los angeles, naughty, nice, Presents, santa, Santa's List, Santa's Naughty List, Santa's Nice List, zine

Which Christmas Tree Will You Get?

December 6

Sketch comedy classic from Rigor Tortoise.

Justin Johnson Videos arizona cypress, Balsam Fir, canaan fir, christmas, christmas tree, colorado blue spruce, comedian, comedy sketch comedy, douglas fir, eastern redcedar, fraser fir, grand fir, hollywood, justin j. johnson, leyland cypress, los angeles, noble fir, norway spruce, rigor tortoise, santa, saturday night live, scotch pine, snl, virginia pine, white pine, white spruce, x-mas

Rigor Tortoise – An Important Message From Santa

December 18

For your viewing eyes, a classic. Rigor Tortoise present: An Important Message From Santa. I’ll answer all the questions you have right now…yes it was tough playing a flying penguin.

Justin Johnson Videos christmas, christmas sketches, funny, hilarious, hollywood, io west, judd apatow, justin j. johnson, los angeles, message from santa, rigor tortoise, santa, sketch comedy, ucb

Justin J. Johnson’s KEYS to Getting on Santa’s Good Side AND Increasing Your Metabolism

December 17

Hello There! As the holidays approach, I am proud to announce, in collaboration with Kinkos Self Publications, the release of my first booklet called…

“Justin J. Johnson’s KEYS to Getting on Santa’s Good Side AND Increasing Your Metabolism.”

Justin J. Johnson's KEYS to Getting on Santa's Good Side AND Increasing Your Metabolism
Justin J. Johnson’s KEYS to Getting on Santa’s Good Side AND Increasing Your Metabolism

Some of you may have encountered me, and I may have given you a booklet. Lucky you.

Other’s may have found one at your local Babycakes in Larchmont. Other lucky you.

For the not-so-lucky’s who never catch me in person, or don’t go to Babycakes, and really want one, feel free to e-mail thejustinjohnsonshow@gmail.com

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Justin Johnson Cartoons aubrey plaza, booklet, funny book, good, increase your metabolism, judd apatow, justin j. johnson, Justin J. Johnson's KEYS to Getting on Santa's Good Side AND Increasing Your Metabolism, keys, keys to getting on santa's good side, naughty, nice, rigor tortoise, santa

What religious affiliation does Santa have?

December 13

Hello!

In case you didn’t know, I LOVE Yahoo! Answers. And as I’ve said before, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.

Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain. Here’s my second question, “What religious affiliation does Santa have?” Click on the link below to log-in and answer!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkVBhQrftUIX8vEQ.jbTW7nsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20121213130851AAYMXZW

What Religious Affiliation Does Santa Have
What Religious Affiliation Does Santa Have

Here’s the copy of my question:
What religious affiliation does Santa have?
I assumed that he was Catholic. One could definitely assume that, but after much thought and seeing photos of Santa hat’s that may or may not have been hiding a Yarmulke I wasn’t sure. Then there was the thought that we may be Buddhist giving the come and go of the season.

Justin Johnson's Yahoo! Answers amiright, buddist santa, catholic santa, funny, haha, humor, improv, jewish santa, justin j. johnson, los angeles, questions, rigor tortoise, santa, santa claus, santa claus religion, santa religion, what religious affiliation does santa have, yahoo answers

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