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Tag: rigor tortoise

The Con-ifer Artist Cone

August 12
The Con-ifer Artist Cone
The Con-ifer Artist Cone
Justin Johnson Cartoons adult swim, cartoon, cartoons, con, con artist, conifer, conifer cone, fox, humor, jash, justin j. johnson, mad tv, nerdist, real estate, rigor tortoise, sctv, snl, stand-up

High Steaks Poker Match

July 24

New cartoon – High Steaks Poker Match by Justin J. Johnson

High Steaks Poker Match Cartoon
High Steaks Poker Match Cartoon
Justin Johnson Cartoons comedian, comedy, high, high steaks poker match, hollywood, improv, io west, justin j. johnson, la, los angeles, marijuana, poker, poker match, rigor tortoise, sketch comedy, snl, stand-up, steaks, ucb, weed

Can’t Stop Getting Bit by Bugs!!!

July 8

Comedian Justin J. Johnson discusses how his getting bit by bugs is a tell for bugs invasion of the world!

Justin Johnson Recordings advice, apocalypse, bites, bug bites, bugs, dead, death, humor, invasion, justin j. johnson, mosquitos, podcast, rigor tortoise, snl, the end of the world, warning, zombies

Hypnotist Intervention

June 28

Nothing like a Friday in June to re-visit a Rigor Tortoise short where I’m probably the sexiest hypnotist that ever lived (minus the sexiest part). Enjoy you bag of hypno’s!

Justin Johnson Videos comedy bang bang, hypnotist, Intervention, jash, justin j. johnson, rigor tortoise, saturday night live, sketch comedy, snl, stand-up, tim and eric

Nissan Gives Justin a Versa Note?

June 28

I’m basically a marketing genius. And with this genius comes a non stop flux of ideas. My recent idea? Selling myself out (in a very good way), by asking Nissan to provide me with a Versa Note to drive around Los Angeles in my day to day adventures, so as to increase brand awareness around the vehicle. Great idea right? You probably don’t even know what a Versa Note is you silly reader. Regardless, I sent them some a “note.” Get it?! Let’s see if they wise up and provide me with one!

Nissan Gives Justin a Versa Note
Nissan Gives Justin a Versa Note
Justin Johnson Essays comedian, free, haha, humor, justin j. johnson, lol, nissan, note, omg, review, rigor tortoise, versa

Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet? How Do I Prevent It?

June 27

If you have questions about the world, I’m telling you, there is no more authoritative source on everything than Yahoo! Answers. It’s a community that is chock full of the weirdest ill informed people ever. So, naturally, if I have a question, it’s where I go for answers.

Today, my question is one that all of you will probably ask during the approaching summer:
Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet? How Do I Prevent It?

The reason for my question:
You guys…I’m getting bit like crazy! I don’t know by what, but I’ve got multiple bites on my arms and legs.

When I asked people why, they said it’s because I’m too sweet…which, honestly, is true. I’m a really sweet guy. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve also got an edge. I mean, I’m a nice guy, but I can wear a leather jacket and rough it up too. I like to think of myself as a Jack McBrayer Gosling.

Regardless, is there a food I can eat to stop these bugs from biting me, or am I just too darn sweet?

If you know the answer, or would like to contribute to this weird community, click here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130627150118AAxC5ND

Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I'm Too Sweet
Am I Getting Bit By Bugs Because I’m Too Sweet
Justin Johnson's Yahoo! Answers bug bites, bugs, food to eat, foods that prevent bug bites, garlic, haha, humor, jack mcbrayer, justin j. johnson, mosquitos, preventing bug bites, rigor tortoise, ryan gosling, satire, snl, sweet, types of bug bites

I’m A Plump Dwarf

June 26

Sometimes you have to let go, and let e-mail take control of your life.

And in this case either
A) I think my agent has me incorrectly listed.
OR
B) I’m a plump dwarf.

Imma go with B!

ALSO, to prove my worth…that’s an e-mail from the President asking ME for help. Worry not nation, I’m here with helping plump dwarf hands.

I'm a Plump Dwarf

Justin Johnson Essays comedian, comedy, dwarf, e-mail, help, humor, justin j. johnson, little person, plump dwarf, plump little person, president obama, pudgy, rigor tortoise, snl

In Case Of, Use Stairway – Cartoon by Justin J. Johnson

June 25
In Case Of Use Stairway by Justin J. Johnson
In Case Of Use Stairway by Justin J. Johnson
Justin Johnson Cartoons comedian, comedy, elevator, fire, humor, in case of fire use stairway, in case on fire, jash, justin j. johnson, justin johnson, new yorker, on fire, rigor tortoise, sign, sketch, stairs, stairway, stairway to heaven, stand-up, use stairway to heaven

The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence

June 17

The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence

The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence
The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence
Justin Johnson Essays Cocky, Correspondence, Essay, Guide, humor, improv, io west, Jerk, justin j. johnson, nerdist, rigor tortoise, sketch, snl, stand-up, The Self-Aggrandizing Guide To Ending Correspondence

Character Development – Improvised Comedy by Justin J. Johnson

June 17

Hey There!

If you’ve been keeping track of LobsterDust shows, you’ll know that one is happening a week from today. Good job, you’re a regular calendar person. Also, if you’re keeping track of my other Lobster half, Adam Karell, you’ll know that he’s out of town a week from today. Good job, you’re a regular stalker person. So, in his absence, I’ll be trying out a new solo improvised show called “Character Development.” It’ll be completely improvised and full of bits so come on out if you’d like. Or even not if you’d like. Good job, you’re a like.

character development - justin j johnson - live improv comedy
character development – justin j johnson – live improv comedy
Justin Johnson Live Shows character development, haha, hollywood, humor, improv, improvisation, io west, justin j. johnson, live, live comedy, los angeles, rigor tortoise, saturday night live, sketch comedy, snl, solo, stand-up, theatre, tilt tyree, ucb

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