Santa’s got a long night ahead of himself come this Christmas Eve, and you know what gets him through…something short and sweet, I’m talking about ESPRESSO! You know the big man is not slim pickins! May sound like nonsense, but Sabrina Carpenter, Espresso, and, well, espresso all make the NICE LIST!
Look, I’m nothing if not an accident prone fella who wants to share secrets…and by that I mean, I LOVE TO SPILL THE TEA! And when I stumbled upon The Big Guy’s “Naughty and Nice List,” you know I had to share it with the world! So, lay your peepers on this list…if you dare!
Remember the Met Gala Cockroach?! With that dress, of course they’re nice!
Spongebob Dude? How dare you. Of course you got coal!
Of course Unions got on the NICE LIST! Hard working people deserve more and Santa knows it!
Couldn’t agree more with The Big Guy. Flounder…you got too much going on!
You thought Gwyneth Paltrow was on the naughty list?! Um, no way, NICE, moving on!
Nobody needs to see some little girl robot dancing ever again! M3GAN, you are naughty!
Santa gets Nepo babies, and just wishes he had a little Santa Nepo Baby of His Own!
Of course Barbie makes the Nice List! How could she not!
Queen Bey on the Nice List! Uncle Johnny made Santa’s SUIT!
You know Santa was dancing through the aisles at the North Pole theater when he watched Eras!
Another leak from Santa’s Naughty and Nice List finds that FREAKY Monolith on the Naughty List! Rightfully so!
Well, well, well…got my hands on this baby, and I’m ready to LEAK IT TO THE WORLD! That’s right ol Santa Clause, THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW!
Follow along as I reveal these sweet secrets on:
Got my grubby little hands on some top secret information and you know me…I can’t keep a secret, so I’m LEAKING some of Santa’s 2018 Naughty and Nice list. If you live in LA, keep your eyes peeled, as I’ll be dropping them in strategic locations!
Hello There! As the holidays approach, I am proud to announce, in collaboration with Kinkos Self Publications, the release of my first booklet called…
“Justin J. Johnson’s KEYS to Getting on Santa’s Good Side AND Increasing Your Metabolism.”
Some of you may have encountered me, and I may have given you a booklet. Lucky you.
Other’s may have found one at your local Babycakes in Larchmont. Other lucky you.
For the not-so-lucky’s who never catch me in person, or don’t go to Babycakes, and really want one, feel free to e-mail thejustinjohnsonshow@gmail.com
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!