If you didn’t make it out to the first TheJustinJohnsonShow.com/LIVE, and prefer watching very low quality versions of live shows on YouTube, boy oh boy are you in for a treat! Because below you will find something that’s like Christmas for you! If you don’t…well, don’t worry, because I’m in the process of doing it again.
Almost Doesn’t Count by Justin J. Johnson
Comedian Justin J. Johnson runs high, and by that, means gets a running high as he’s trying to escape the apocalypse.
New cartoon, thai vs. thigh massage.
Listen. These are trying times, and trying times call for trying measures. Bring your sweety and this 2 for 1 to the iO box office this Saturday Night Live and get…2 tickets for the price of 1.
Posters can’t get cuter, and show’s shan’t be funner. Make sure you come on out!
Check out the latest PSA announcement by Rigor Tortoise.
Hey Biebs, Beebs, or Beibs,
Firstly I don’t know how to spell it, and you need to calm down already because if you think for a second I’m gonna Google it, you’re dead wrong, you jerk!
Secondly quit whispering about girlfriends and answer my e-mail! It’s been 3 weeks now, and I e-mailed you directly to what I assume is your Gmail address, justinbieber@gmail.com, and you’re not answering! I need answers Bleib! And I need them now!
The above is my e-mail, look familiar Bieber?!
Ever sense you tried to be me…and by the way, get real there leibs, you’ll never be me, so keep dreabing…I’ve had the cops thinking I’m being chased by the Papparazzi and they’re tailing my every move to ensure I’m “safe.” Well guess what Leave it to Bleiber, having cops around you all the time, isn’t exactly a trip to the funzone!
Thus far you have…
A) Tried to be me, which is sick! QUIT SINGLE WHITE FEMAILING ME!
B) Ruined my life, which is now a permanent low speed, no laws being broken, police chase.
Andddd…
C) I don’t know what “C” is yet, but if you don’t aplogize, I’m sure it will be awful so quit being a jerk!
Honestly, the new album is dope.
Sincerely,
The REAL Justin Johnson!