improv | the justin johnson show

What’s the Protocol on How Your Ears React To Someone Talking About You?

January 4

It may be a new year, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop asking absurd questions to the absurd world that is Yahoo! Answers! This time I ask “What’s the protocol on how your ears react to someone talking about you?” Just to refresh you on the backstory of why I’ve entered and dark and weird world of Y!A, here you go…

I love Yahoo! Answers. I mean, let’s face it, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.

Here’s the link and the copy, feel free to answer away!

What’s the protocol on how your ears react to someone talking about you?
Is it that they’re red? Or, warm? Or, ringing? Perhaps it’s red if they’re talking negatively, warm if they’re talking fondly, and ringing if they’re yelling? Wait, no…warm if they’re just like, “meh, he/she is alright at air hockey” but when they’re like, “he/she is AMAZING at air hockey,” that’s when they’re ringing. Sorta like red light, yellow light, green light. The green light is the ringing, and the red light is the red.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130103141253AA7mrg0

What religious affiliation does Santa have?

December 13

Hello!

In case you didn’t know, I LOVE Yahoo! Answers. And as I’ve said before, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.

Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain. Here’s my second question, “What religious affiliation does Santa have?” Click on the link below to log-in and answer!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkVBhQrftUIX8vEQ.jbTW7nsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20121213130851AAYMXZW

Here’s the copy of my question:
What religious affiliation does Santa have?
I assumed that he was Catholic. One could definitely assume that, but after much thought and seeing photos of Santa hat’s that may or may not have been hiding a Yarmulke I wasn’t sure. Then there was the thought that we may be Buddhist giving the come and go of the season.

Giraffe My Ass Off

November 28

Apparently Any Schmuck Can Get a Giraffe!

Oh man! Remember last week when I told you Yahoo! Answers was unreal? Remember when I posted a ridiculous question and assumed somebody would answer it? Well guess what, I WAS RIGHT! Annnnd, apparently giraffes are super easy to import into the United States BUT they do reproduce. Here’s the text as seen below:

“Most subspecies are not endangered, but many are protected. A helicopter doesn’t have the range, and the cost would be ridiculous. Air and ship are the most likely. Check with a zoo. They can probably tell you, and they could also tell you if any are available already in the US for a suitable use, such as a wildlife preserve or another zoo. They do reproduce”

How Do You Import Giraffes Into the United States?

November 21

Hello!

I love Yahoo! Answers. I mean, let’s face it, it’s probably the only good thing that’s come out of the creation of the Internet.

Don’t believe me? Well get this, you ask a question, and then whackjobs answer it! THERE IS NOTHING BETTER! Thus, given my obsession, I finally decided to create an account to get to the bottom of some things that have been itching my brain. Here’s my first question, “How Do You Import Giraffes Into the United States?” Click on the link below to log-in and answer!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121121083118AANlIrz

How Do You Import Giraffes Into the United States?

LobsterDust (Justin J. Johnson & Adam Karell) Returns!

October 8

Tonight, LobsterDust will return! REJOICE! Okay, or just sit there, that’s cool too!

Below is a link to the show we’re doing. It’s at iO West, tonight at 10:30 PM. Come on out, it’s free you jerks!

http://ioimprov.com/west/io/shows/ham-radio

LobsterDust - Justin J. Johnson & Adam Karell - Live Improv! — LobsterDust – Justin J. Johnson & Adam Karell – Live Improv!

Rigor Tortoise at the Denver Improv Festival!

September 25

Rigor Tortoise is venturing out to the lovely city of Denver! Personally, it’s my first trip to Denver and I’m ready to Sal Paradise the shit out of the city!

Rigor Tortoise at the Denver Improv Festival

Identity Theft Is Weird – The Justin Johnson Show

September 25

What are these? What am I doing? Who even knows, quit asking questions, strap yourself up and listen!

Mixtapes & FUN! TheJustinJohnsonShow.com/LIVE!

September 12

Hey There Reader! So, I’m sure you’re aware that this website is going to be performed LIVE! this Saturday at iO West at 8:30PM, but were you aware that if you attend, you receive a FREE mixtape of all songs included int he show? Betcha weren’t, were you! Come on out!

http://ioimprov.com/west/io/shows/thejustinjohnsonshow-com-live

Show Tonight at Second City!

September 10

Hey There Fair Reader! I assume you’re fair. Am I right? Are you honest? Kind of a “tell it how it is” person? I knew it, you’re an egg of good nature, and I appreciate you. If you’re in Hollywood tonight, and near Second City, do yourself a fave and come check out Gypsy Lou. We’ll be performing with Smokehouse, and it’s sure to be a time had by all.

https://www.laughstub.com/secondcity/index.cfm?id=173990&quantity=0

Show!

January 26

Going to be doing a fun show tonight! Come check it out if you are able bodied, or even if you don’t have a body (this is a ghost invitation).

Tag: improv