911 Call – Person Stuck in a Kitchenette
October 29
Ear Clogs and It Ain’t You Boo, It’s Just My Eyes Is Watery
October 17
Check out these new “recordings”
Ear Clogs
Comedian Justin J. Johnson discusses clogged ears, insanity, corrects himself, and makes a fool of himself.
It Ain’t You Boo, It’s Just My Eyes Is Watery
Comedian Justin J. Johnson discusses the clinical problems of watery eyes, texas bbq, outdoor patios, and why we should thank the big man upstairs for not giving us misty eyes. BE THANKFUL!
Quick Q&A Addressing the Rumors of My Casting in Ghostbusters 3
March 1
Hey Guys! Just wanted to take a minute to update you guys on some casting news and rumors out there. As you guys may have heard, I have been in talks to star in Ghostbusters 3 as George Zeddemore, Winston’s long lost son. That said, there are a lot of things hanging in the air, and the air is dirty. Nobody can breathe that air. You know why? Too many questions. So let me answer some questions and clear the air.
Q: Do I know if this is official?
A: No, it’s still in talks.
Q: Is Bill Murray going to do the film?
A: To be honest, in my speaking directly with him, I think he’s on board. His only requests are to wear his Steve Zissou beanie, and be primarily shirtless during the shoot.
Q: Are Dan Akroyd and Bill Murray at odds?
A: First, what’s with your use of At Odds? Secondly, I don’t think so. We’ve had a lot of meetings and Danny Ak will usually bring an Arby’s Roast Beef in for Billy M, sit it on the table, kiss him on the cheek and say, “there you go Billy.” If that’s “at odds,” then yes. Yes they are. In the cutest of at odds ways.
Q: What’s your back story for being Winston’s son?
A: I don’t fully know yet, as I have yet to read the script. But I’m assuming I wasn’t really planned, grew up in the woods of Indiana with my mother and our stepfather who was an oil merchant who gave up everything when after reading Eat, Pray, Love, and we had to fend for ourselves. Then I got a call from Winston, answered, and now I beat the hell out of ghosts but am not really seen as a part of the team.
Q: Have you been in touch with Ernie Hudson?
A: I don’t know who that is.
Q: How much will you make for this film?
A: Let’s not talk money. Buttt, if all goes well, I’ll have a Fiat for every day of the year.
Q: Do you do yoga?
A: I’ve tried it before.
Q: Pilates?
A: Not a fan.
Q: What are you doing later today?
A: Nothing much, you?
Q: I’m asking the questions.
A: Really?
A: Wait a minute, I thought I was asking the questions.
Q: Well, looks like the Q and A have switched places, so now you’re screwed, aren’t you?
A: I am.
Q: How did you enjoy this interview?
A: Good I suppose.
A: Have a great day.
Nailing IT!
February 28
Hey Hollywood! Why don’t you wake up and hip yourself to the fact that I’m coming up with shit that appeals to THE only demographic that really matters. Screw your “target” demo of 18-24. That’s been done before, it’s old hat, and I’m not gonna fall in line. I’ve evolved. I’ve woken up if you will, and it’s time you do the same.
I’ll tell you what I’m going after, that golden, post Cougar, sweet, sweet demo called the “Fierce Female 55 – 64!” And according to YouTube, I nailed the shit out of it. So go ahead, hire away! Quit the shit Two Broke Girls, or Whitney. Trying to appeal to stupid kids. How’s about you let me write you a script that’ll bring a buncha silver foxes your way!
