Here’s a short from Rigor Tortoise past.
The Fruit “Oh So” Fly
High Steaks Poker Match
I’m A Plump Dwarf
Sometimes you have to let go, and let e-mail take control of your life.
And in this case either
A) I think my agent has me incorrectly listed.
OR
B) I’m a plump dwarf.
Imma go with B!
ALSO, to prove my worth…that’s an e-mail from the President asking ME for help. Worry not nation, I’m here with helping plump dwarf hands.
In Case Of, Use Stairway – Cartoon by Justin J. Johnson
Invasive Surgery vs. Evasive Surgery Joke Ideas
I’m at it again! Coming up with too many bad ideas for one premise that I can’t figure out. Welp, lucky for you that rather than be a sane person who deletes these awful things, I’m releasing it into the world! Here’s a list of joke ideas I was trying to come up with for the premise: Invasive Surgery vs. Evasive Surgery.

Brand New Zine: Tips To Getting Over Your Love Affair With Helen Hunt and a Guide To Summer Fashion
Hey Pals! I have a new zine I’ll be handing out across the world. In the off chance you don’t see me in person and I hand you one, you can e-mail thejustinjohnsonshow(at)gmail(dot)com and I’ll send you one! Keep it real bros.

Sally Field Monologues
Don’t not tell me I’m the best Sally Field monologist.
Haunted by a Native American Ghost
I was recently haunted and had an encounter with a Native American Ghost. Please see below…
First, I found out I was being haunted…
Then, I found proof…
And finally I accidentally got him with his bow and arrow…




