Justin Johnson Reviews Album Artwork - the justin johnson show

This week’s album review:

Phosphorescent
“Muchacho”

Hola muchacho! Get it?! It’s a play off the title of the new Phosphorescent album. Right?!

Okay, listen it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these and I didn’t want to start off by saying, “it’s been a while.” BUT, now I’ve said it and there’s no way to erase it, so let’s just deal with it! In any case, boy do I have a great album to review based solely upon it’s cover art. Phosphorescent’s “Muchacho.”

Now, let’s set the record straight. I’m a little biased. I really enjoy Phosphorescent! Back in the day I heard a track called, “I Am a Full Grown Man (I Will Lay in the Grass All Day).” THAT’S MY LIFE! I want to just lay in grass all day! Honestly, nothing sounds better…unless the grass is wet. Then it’s uncomfortable. But, regardless, I love Phosphorescent. I mean, Matthew Houck, you wrote a song specifically about my life (laying in grass) and a tribute album to Willie Nelson! You kidding me?! Sometimes I just go to bars, don’t order any drinks, wait for it to close and play “The Party’s Over” on full volume on my iPhone. Of course, nobody can really hear it because the volume on an iPhone isn’t that loud…but it’s the thought that counts!

And then, more recently on “Here’s To Taking It Easy,” resides the tunes “The Mermaid Parade” (I LOVE MERMAIDS!) and “Los Angeles!” (THAT’S WHERE I LIVE!) All of this is to say…Matthew Houck…or rather, Phosphorescent…understands me!

Given this understanding, you can see how anxious I have been to get a new album that will better understand me! How am I to learn anything about myself if I don’t have a song to guide me there!? But, alas, it’s been a little while. And, as the story goes, Matthew Houck wasn’t doing too well. He was tired, and needed to get away. You know, take it easy (get it?!)! So, he went down to Mexico and started a Mermaid Parade. JK you guys! But, he did go to Mexico…and maybe he started a Mermaid Parade. And after laying in the grass for a while, he emerged with “Muchacho.”

Now then, let’s review this album solely upon the cover art…

YES! I LOVE THIS COVER ART! THIS MAY BE THE BEST ALBUM EVER! (You can probably guess where I’m looking right now…there’s a lady…umm…sitting down on the bed…and ummm…well…that shirt is sort of open…and…umm…you get it!)

I think the first thing I personally learned from this album about myself is…I NEED TO GO TO MEXICO!!

But honestly…back to the music based on the cover art. Besides the fact that there’s ummm…a lady there…WHOA! ANOTHER LEG! I just noticed that other leg! How many ladies are in this room!? Is that a ladies leg?! Wait, is there another lady under that poncho? Is that even a poncho or a blanket? You know, the one under the disco ball? AHHH! Is that a disco ball?!! HOLY MOLY! Oh man! AWESOME!!

Welp, if there’s one thing we can take away from this album, it’s that Phosphorescent is taking it easy! Kudos sir, kudos!

Matthew Houck is wearing a fun ass shirt, a cool ass hat, and has a dope ass grin on his face! The party is on!

BUT, then again…as we learned from Willie…the party has to be over at some point too. And guess what? The nights in Mexico may be fun when you’ve got two lovely ladies wearing your shirts and hats, but when you wake up in a gross looking green room with interesting art above the bed, and jinky retro lamps…you’ve got another thing coming. The walk of shame is a learning experience…especially when it’s out of your own room in Mexico.

I’m guessing this album has a touch of that. Maybe it seems fun and relaxed. You’re having a good time, but you delve deeper and you see that behind any escape rests a real world that you have to get back to. Or…maybe you never have to. Maybe it’s a permanent escape. Like, you entered into the witness protection program, but you have to live in Mexico with lovely ladies wearing your shirts and hats? Who knows!!!

One thing is for sure…I’m betting this album is more than just a drunken evening. It’s fun on the surface, but what happens the next day…welp, it’s unknown and up to you to decide. It’s a drunken evening…that makes you think.

DAMMIT PHOSPHORESCENT! Just when I thought your music couldn’t better understand me, you did it again!

REVIEW:
I give it five lovely ladies wearing my shirts out of five lovely ladies wearing my shirts.

LET’S GO TO MEXICO!

This week’s album review:

Menomena
“Moms”

Hurray! I’m back, as only I can be. Well…I suppose anyone can be back, right? I’m not really leaping on this assumption, everyone has been back at some point in their life. Right? WHOA! What just happened there? I think I went through a mid-life/sentence crisis. Who questions the capabilities of being back?! I’ll tell you who MENOMENA! JK! But they are back too, with a brand new album and I have graciously devoted my time to reviewing the entire album, and all of the hard work and strife they’ve gone through, solely upon the cover art! What am I, the nicest guy in the world?! You betcha I am!

So here’s some back story on Menomena…they been through the ringer! Brent Knopf not only deserves the title of funnest last name to say without fully knowing if you’re saying it right, but also deserves the title of the dude who left the band. That’s a weird title to have…well both of those are. But he left, and that left Justin Harris (who deserves the title of biggest rip off of my first name) and Danny Seim (who deserves the title of “i” before “e” except when in Seim…good title!) to fend for themselves! Well actually to stop fending, because dudes stopped fighting and fending, and made this album! WHOA! What a history, and what a title!

Historical history aside, let’s get to the kale and pine nuts (this is the vegetarian version of “meat and potatoes”) of why you’re reading. THE ALBUM REVIEW! Let’s take a look…

WHOA!

First impressions…this album is heavy man. In the moral words of Abe Lincoln, “Menomena be going through some shit, ya’ll.” And I’ll tell you just a few reasons why this album be heavy, based on the artwork…and let’s keep this review sane by starting left to right.

That chair. It’s an old chair man, looks kind of tattered and warn. The kind of chair you sit in to go through some heavy shit, you know? AND, it’s in the middle of nowhere…and they’re in the middle of nowhere! Nowhere = Going Through Some Shit Town – Occupants 1 1/2 + Balloon.

Then there’s that lady. Is she a ghost, is she not a ghost? Why are her arms so skinny but her body be big? Is she pregnant, has she just been eating a bunch, or is she just retaining water? What’s her deal?! Plus, I don’t wanna sound weird, but this lady has saggy boobs. I’m guessin…she’s the Moms! But here’s the biggest reason why this album is probably heavy…she’s wearing sunglasses, a weird color lipstick, her nostrils are fully flared, and she’s wearing the type of hat that says…we’re about to go through some heavy shit, strap up and strap in brutha!

OH! Not to mention…SHE’S HOLDING A BABY THAT LOOKS LIKE A FULL GROWN SILENT FILM ACTOR!

That babies weird…the kind of weird baby that…you guessed it, is indicative of going through some shit! Does he have a mustache, doesn’t he? What silent films was he in? Why does he have to match so well! If you’re a silent film baby I feel like you should wear some clothes that distract from your silent film baby-ness and not fully match your skin color. Hey mom, can’t you take your silent baby film actor to the store for some new threads?!?!

And what’s with this balloon, and why does this silent film actor baby want it so bad?? Mom, don’t you think you shoulda put a string on that balloon?!? Come on! This silent film actor baby already has enough strikes against him, the LEAST you can do is put a string on his goddamned balloon!

Thennnn…there’s that shooting star? Or maybe it’s a plane that’s about to write something! Something like, “mom, put a string on that balloon for your silent film actor baby!” Orrr, are they all underwater? That “sky” might just be an “ocean,” and if so, the raises even more questions and more “going through some shits!”

I’m an emotional wreck just from looking at this album cover!!! I need a nap!

REVIEW:
This album is gonna weigh on you! And guess what! That’s exactly what Menomena wants! They’ve been through the shit man, but they put together an ultimately beautiful album (cover). Soooo…grab your silent film baby actors, hold your weird saggy boob’d moms and listen, because this…well…this is an emotional ride!

I give it 5 out of 5 “The Generals” (The silent film I’m sure that silent film baby actor was in!)

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Category: Justin Johnson Reviews Album Artwork

Justin Reviews An Indie Album Based On Its Indie Cover Art – Phosphorescent “Muchacho”

Justin Reviews An Indie Album Based On Its Indie Cover Art – Menomena “Moms”