Three (VERY) Important Things I Learned This Weekend

Hey Readers And/Or People Who Are Listening To Other People Read This To Them!

I hate to start anything with a direct quote from Abraham Lincoln, but I believe he was the one who said, “party hard on the weekends, and make sure you have some takeaways.” Well Abie L, I did. Here they are, in a particular order:

1. Father John Misty is the best dancer in the music game today.

Dare you to find a better dancer. Honestly, I dare you. What’s at stake? How about your mind not being blown by his sweet dance moves if you don’t go see him live. That’s what is at stake! So maybe you should get off of your ass and go see him live.

I’m sorry. I got real aggressive there, and I shouldn’t have. But…it’s just…you kept asking me what was at stake for this dare, and it’s like, I’ve told you a million times…a dare is just a dare. Cool it. ALSO! This is a behind the scenes thing that I learned, but Father John Misty’s new album, “Fear Fun” is definitely one of my favorites of the year thus far. So while you’re buying those tickets, meeehhhh, go buy the album too (Woody Allen impersonation).

2. It is possible to get lost in Griffith Park.

Oh, you don’t think so?! I’ll tell you what, you’re being a taddd too aggressive/defensive/something today for my taste. In any case, you being a jerk aside, it is possible to get lost. So take water and stuff with you. GOT IT?! I’m sorry, even though you’re being real weird to me today, I still want you to keep on living, so if you get lost, have water with you and keep walking.

3. I would join Brit Marling’s cult.

After viewing the pretty rad film that is “Sound of My Voice” I realized that, after inquiring with the local Arclight staff on how I could join the apparently fictional cult represented in the film, I’m a pretty easy target for joining cults. Please don’t ask me to join a cult. Unless you’re Brit Marling. Then, then I’ll do it. Mehh, I’ll probably do it no matter what, so just don’t ask.

Can’t wait until next weekend when I learn what this “kale” stuff is all about!

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