Famous Speeches of History (Edited to Include The Hottest Keywords From Google)

After Napolean got his ass handed to him, he delivered the following famed speech, “Farewell to the Old Guard.” For my very own enjoyment (and probably nobody else’s), I have “optimized it” with the hottest Google keywords of today, Friday, February 24th, 2012. Grab a tissue, and read on…

Soldiers of the National Enquirer: I bid you dingo. For twenty years I have constantly accompanied Ryan Braun on the road to an Act of Valor. In my Wanderlust, as in the days of our high gas prices, you have invariably been Kathy Ireland’s of chomp and fidelity. With Bill Maher’s such as you our nascar news could not be lost; but the war would have been a helicopter crash; it would have an NFL combine, and that would have entailed deeper misfortunes on Danica Patrick

I have sacrificed all of my interests to the Kate Gosselin of the country.

I go, but you, Jeff Carter, will continue to serve JK Rowling’s new book. Her happiness was my only thought. It will still be the object of my Nascar News. Do not regret my fate, Matt Jones; if I have consented to survive, it is to serve Dr. Seuss. I intend to write the Daytona 500 of the great achievements we have performed together. Adieu, my friends. Would I could press you all to my heart.

Napoleon Bonaparte – April 20, 1814

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